ANIMAL PLANET TURNS PC By Frederick B. Meekins.  [January 4, 2004]   [HollywoodInvestigator.com]  This should come as no surprise, but Kelly Diedring won the prize on Animal Planet's King of the Jungle of having one's own special on that network.      My loyal readers will recall her as the ditzy blonde mentioned in Ecovangelism: Is Animal Planet the Next PTL? who confirmed it really is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt when she blurted to the effect she did not think herself superior to any animal.     It is obvious Kelly did not win this competition based upon extensive knowledge of the animal world or because of her amicable personality.  Rather, she was simply the best at spouting the clichéd environmental party line.  Why should intelligence or charm be allowed to get in the way of such a thing?     This was evident in the final competition between Adam and Kelly.  Adam's presentation concentrated on the biological characteristics and natural context of the tigers being interpreted.  Kelly, on the other had, veered off topic considerably into her hackneyed spiel about the evils of development and so forth, rambling on about how children of the future have every right to experience tigers in the wild.  One would think children living in an area where they might bump into a tiger would just be grateful no longer having to fear becoming cat food.     Kelly's documentary debut was as uninspired since her program focused on the Nile crocodile.  Doesn't this network suffer from a dearth of reptile coverage; after all, isn't one of the channel's headliners known as The Croc Hunter? Why not a nice show about birds?  Seems they hardly have any shows anymore about animals worthy of our admiration, only about those needing to be chopped up by a garden hoe or run over by a lawnmower. But if nothing else, maybe her trek out into the filth and muck of the African wilderness disimbued her of the silliness that the natural world is fuzzy, cuddly, and well-mannered.  Hard to think of no creature being superior to any other when you see one rip another to shreds for lunch. In justifying his embarrassing display of infatuation towards all things Kelly throughout the entire competition, Nigel Marvin claimed that the final decision of the judges came down to a matter of "intangibles" since the two finalists had been otherwise evenly matched.  I  suppose Adam's just weren't as big as Kelly's.   Copyright 2004 by Frederick B. Meekins, American WorldView Dispatch. --------------- Entertainment Beat Archives. Tell Us What YOU Think! -- On Our Message Board! RETURN to The Hollywood Investigator! "Hollywood Investigator" and "HollywoodInvestigator.com" trademarks are currently unregistered, but pending registration upon need for protection against improper use.  The idea of marketing these terms as a commodity is a protected idea under the Lanham Act. 15 U.S.C. s 1114(1) (1994) (defining a trademark infringement claim when the plaintiff has a registered mark); 15 U.S.C. s 1125(a) (1994) (defining an action for unfair competition in the context of trademark infringement when the plaintiff holds an unregistered mark).